THREE DAYS ago, on my birthday, New York Times bestselling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi agreed to follow me on Twitter, under one condition: I had to agree to bake a pie.
It’s called a Schadenfreude Pie, invented by John himself and to be eaten, according to him, “while you are reveling in the horrible misfortunes of others.” If you want to make this pie yourself, go check out his recipe.
I’m a pretty busy girl, so I had to schedule this pie-baking fiasco for today, but John appears to be a patient man–you have to be if you’re in the business of making a proper pie.
I’m not going to explain the steps for making the pie. I’m writing this post so that I can prove to John Scalzi that I have indeed fulfilled my promise. In this first image you’ll find all the necessary ingredients. To prove it’s really me and not images ripped from Google, I’ve placed in the background my beloved copy of Blood Drops by WB Welch. (If you like horror shorts, I highly recommended it. I mean I made your pie, John. I get to plug a book–it’s not even my own! Blood Drops can be found here, easy as pie.)
The following photos I took periodically throughout the process. Melted butter, dark corn syrup, molasses, cinnamon, and dark brown sugar. Then the melted chocolate. Then eggs and Kahlua. And finally into the oven for 45 minutes. (I overfilled my pie crust, so I had to leave it in for an additional ten. Careful folks!)
I do apologize for the low-quality photos. I’m a girl on a budget. My phone screen is cracked and I buy store-brand food whenever available. Now I’m having pie for dinner the next three nights! (Not really.)
I would apologize for the dirty oven, but you’re not my landlord so mind your own business! I’m not cleaning that thing!
Here’s the pie when it came out. It’s cooling now as I type this. You’ll see I was a little clumsy and some of the filling spilled when I put it in to bake. I don’t know if I did everything right, but I’m going to have a slice after it’s cooled down and I’ll let you know on Twitter.
If you’re new around here, I am Tory Hunter, Party Freckle, Book Pimp. Oh, and I write books too. Come and follow me, especially if you’re an author. I buy books a lot, I give books away, and I do things like bake pies in exchange for follows from the fancy blue check people like John Scalzi.
Thanks for the follow, John. You can unfollow me now, or stick around for my top-shelf tweets! At least I got a pie out of the deal!
(Taste test results forthcoming on Twitter.)